Sugardy Candy

Yuletide fic done on time, yes! I'm not entirely happy with it, and if I can squeeze in a little time I'll try to edit it further.

Visit Japan for the first time ever in my life, for one week, over end-November/beginning-December. It was glorious. Everything else aside, no one spoke to me for a week. (I spoke only when I wanted, and that was to very lovely and polite shop and restaurant staff and hotel staff.) I went to Sendai, which was all layers of happiness, not-so-incidentally also met an ex-classmate which was very comforting, and also to Kyoto which had a delightful surprise for me.

Back home, I thought things were back to normal but now coming to year-end, to my dismay, I'm approaching a mindset that I thought I had abandoned years ago:

1) refusal to eat;
2) a wild urge to fling myself off the building, or alternatively to maybe self-harm a lot;
3) trying not to burst into tears when I have to go out in public and interact with people.

I am like, damn it. I don't have time for this only to realise, sure I have time for this. I can take as much time as I want to think about how I need to buy more fan-stuff so I'm motivated to wake up in the morning. Anyway, it's probably seasonal and will pass, but I am annoyed now. Or I should be, if I had the energy for it.

I should probably eat. Food solves a lot of problems.

Happy winter solstice, everyone.